The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize