I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize