Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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