you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
