I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
