Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
