Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
