She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
