If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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