do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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