I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
