Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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