well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
