she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
