Whod you bang
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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