I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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