we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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