Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
