After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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