I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
