At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize