Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
