The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
