Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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