got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
