Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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