Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Drunk is a universal language darling
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
