I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
