You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
