He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
