they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i think my cat just said my name.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize