If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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