it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I understand Curling. That high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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