That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
