At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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