i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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