Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
