Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
