so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Having a random hookup so left but love u
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
