He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
