You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
