i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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