I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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