I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
