everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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