I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
