just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
