worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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