we have officially lost it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she told me i tasted like america
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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