She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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