You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
