in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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