period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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