I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
