I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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