Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize