Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
