then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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