Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
