covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
