Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
