yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
