We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
