You're so nebulous sometimes
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
