i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
