i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
