YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
