i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you win again, gameday.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
